Christmastime Is Here...

But so much for happiness and cheer. I had barely squeezed out the thought, "Ah, it's the day before Christmas eve and I'm baking cookies with Jenny, how picturesque," when I remembered.

"I have two history essays and a science unit assessment left to do!" I shrieked. Glancing at the clock, which read ten thirty at night, Jenny said,

"Seems to me as though you should go do them." And do them I did, though it took me until one o' clock in the morning. Bugger the economic effects of religious and military conflict on Europe in the late Middle Ages!

But here it is, Christmas Eve, and I've just had a brilliant, though not entirely original idea for a story. 'T will do no good to ask on what it is; I shall not tell, because it is my biz. Or whatever rhymes with is.

Merry Christmas.

Can't... keep... eyes... open

It's 12:31, so I assume that it's tomorrow already? I'm too tired to tell. I just wanted someone to know that I have written four essays, done two twenty-point quizzes and answered about ten short answer questions. I need to write out my achievements to be happy before I go to bed. I'm listening to "Past the Point of No Return", which I assume is appropriate at this time of morning?
Merry Christmas

Handel's Messiah

Handel's Messiah has been sung many different ways, however, this, I think, is one of the best besides the original classic itself. Handel's Messiah: A Soulful Celebration is one of the most accurate and yet creative renditions of a classic piece in an African style that I have ever heard. If you are a fan of African music, this is definitely something you should pick up for the Christmas holidays.

Ha-HA!

I remembered the perfect topic for my definition essay. What is it?

Solve this riddle that I will make up on the spot to find out:

FIRST LETTER
The alpha of the group or pack
The one that leads them all
'Tis pointy when it comes in CAPS
And round when it is small

SECOND LETTER
Riddle, riddle, riddle you
What is it that makes a riddle?
Without this thing it could be middle
Or tiddle, fiddle, griddle, piddle...

THIRD LETTER
A family had children four
The second one was not that bright
Yet the letter that starts this child's name
Will for this riddle shine the light

And if you do not know this group
I'll give you one hint more:
This letter appears in depth and catch
In Mary Poppin's favorite word as well

(Which, spelled backwards, is suicodalaipxecitsilagarfalacrepus)

Have you guessed it?
If you haven't, too bad. I've run out of both ideas for hints and rhymes.

O, tragedy!

I thought of the perfect subject for my definition essay and have forgotten it! Also, SOMEONE left the Phantom of the Opera in my DVD player. O, the misery of the world!

History

Do do before tomorrow at midnight:

Two five-paragraph essays
One four paragraph essay
Two 20-point quizzes
Around 20 short-answer questions

I'd better get going.

Secrets held within

On Sunday, ar el harym-minym iss shi yn tarin. Confused? Good. It's a secret. You see, my conundrum is thus: I am dying, screaming to spill my secrets, but if I post them, people will read them. So I have opened a new blog, privately, and shall never tell its location. There I shall post my secrets. In the words of Calvin,
"You cannot trace us, you cannot find us. Sincerely, Calvin."

GFS

Have you ever been to school? Of course you have. Unless you haven't.
I haven't.
However, yesterday I went for the very first time. It was only a practice session thingamajig, of course, but I was still slightly curious about real school.
It was EXACTLY as I had pictured it.
Hallways, students, chatter, "like, totally hot!", boys with slingy down pants, girls with pully up skirts, bags, books, files, folders, doodles, models, TEACHERS!
Some excellent classes, some awful.
I can't wait to go to school.

Oi

Have you ever had that feeling? The feeling of you've been doing something the wrong way your whole life and you've never known it?

Well, yesterday, I was walking along, minding my own business, when suddenly something hit me. It was a large, heavy THOUGHT. The word "wherefore" in Archaic English, means "Why", right? Right. I knew this. I also knew that in Romeo and Juliet, Juliet says in the balcony scene, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

But what I realized is this: according to the actual laws of archaic English, Juliet was really asking, "Why are you Romeo?" which explains perfectly why she next says, "Denounce they name," and goes on with that whole thing about roses smelling as sweet.

"Romeo, Romeo, why do you have to be Romeo? Couldn't you be Bill or Bob, so that we wouldn't have to worry about our families when we got married?" This is what Juliet is really asking.

What a dunce I am not to have realized it before!

Wherefore, wherefore did I not realize this?

Gangsta 2

Well, I've made some progress on what I call "Gangsta boys" having no wish to have another AYUS. I've decided on the name of the evil character... as usual it's a surprise. I've only gotten up to the part about the rumble at the nightclub, but will keep you posted. Giashana Elimandora Casimanfora, or Black Death as his friends know him, is leading the gang (Tiger, Cutter, Icehammer, Poison, Jaguar and Rapier) to rescue Spider, but have just been rumbled by this story's equivalent of Miranda (Mimosa).
Can't wait to see what happens!
Oh, wait...
I guess I shall have to write it.

Firearms

Here is what I learned about guns this week:

A Spas-12 is NOT spelled "Spaz-12".
A Spas-12 is a very powerful gun, huge and banned in polite society.
An AK-47 is a commonly used gun, trustworthy and durable, but not very accurate.
Nowhere can I find information concerning a Mini Vulcan.
TT-33s and Beretta 92s are practical and useful (I think that I shall carry a Beretta 92 if ever I carry a gun).
Desert Eagles are large and powerful; perfect for a bodyguard.
Mountain Eagles are larger and more powerful.

Gangsta

I am writing a new story (yes, again). It is called... I dunno yet, but it's about Julien, Cole, Thom and Isaiah (and myself) in an exciting adventure of mystery, wonder and enchantment , I mean, guns, blood and dice. We are part of a gang. Spider (that's me!) gets kidnapped by an evil man who wants to stop D & D playing forever. Will Spider escape and continue her brave smuggling of dice across the border? Or will the evil villain whose name is yet to be decided win the day?
I hope we win, but I have no idea.

I'm Turning Into A Girl

1992 - I was born
1996 - I was into ballerinas and princesses
2000 - I was into house, American Girl, playacting
2003 - I was normal... NORMAL!
2004/2005 - I was a complete tomboy. Baggy clothing, jeans, hiking boots, ratty sneakers, wrestling. I loved every moment of it.
2006 - I feel myself suddenly becoming a girl. Clothes matter, and shoes must match clothing. Also, I catch myself thinking about how to make my hair lie flat on my head. Why? I have double-pierced ears and wear earrings in them. I wear a ring. Sometimes, I ponder a skirt. Yesterday I wore high heels. I am frightening myself.
Hopefully next year I'll find a happy medium.

Talking

To God: I always seem to do this most when I am feeling most nervous or peaceful. During the day, not as much as I should.
To Sarah Bee: It's hard to know what to say in some instances, and in others, it's almost too easy... Like we have a script already... hmmm....
To Parents: Snork. Weeeell...
To Julien: A lot easier than it used to be! Thank goodness; I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me.
To Cole: Also a lot easier, but it was never exactly difficult to talk to Cole. He still talks the same way: "The skunk in the tree is wearing a party hat... mwahahahaha!"
To Jacques: Talk? Did you say talk?
To Miss Kristyn: Different. Now I can say important things.
To Pascal: Better, I think, although I couldn't tell you how.
To Noah: Same as ever.
To Hannah: Different. More uncomfortable.
To Mo: The same, but I notice how often we disagree now.

In other news, I have a headache because my contacts and I am trying to think of a reasonable sentence where I could use the word pudenda. I have also spent the last few days researching profanity in my new book, "Daily Life in the 1800s".

Weekend

[Warning, lists ahead]

Over the weekend, I was (in this order):

Elated
Joky
Confused
Angry
Miserable
Scheming
Joyful
Excited
Disappointed
Steely
Witty
Stupid
and
Yearning

And this was without my period!

The Battle at Hand

Part VII

The cruel wind turns, the shadow falls
With dark as thick as mire
Then on the horizon appears
The flare of bright warfire
The smell of hatred rampant rove
Unguarded malice reigned
Many men were being slayed
But no great victory gained
Not all the soldiers trampled
Underfoot were truly slayed
Their cries were lost in battlenoise
And none came to their aid
The swords are dark with blackened blood
The shields are cast aside
The spears are shattered on the helms
The steeds unfit to ride
But still they fight, they battle on
Though many fall and die
Hewn beneath the sword of foe
And reckless battlecry
The river near runs crimson deep
With blood of noble men
The sky darkens to deepest rage
And blood pours on the fen
And still the battle rageth on
And still the soldiers fall
The king claims that he shall not cease
Till he hath slain them all

- Selections from the Battle of Remm, by Sarah Macolino

This is how it is today. This is the battle we fight. We have already won the battle against evil, the blood sacrifice has been paid, and the prisoners redeemed. But even as the Enemy falls, he will strike out with his right hand to grasp and clutch all that he may, and bring them down into the deepest pits of Hell where he is forever banished. When will the fall of the Evil One end? We shall never know. We must only know that the fight against Evil goes on, though we have triumphed long ago. As warriors, we fight for the winning side, the side with the victory. We fight so that others may join us, so that when we no longer live on this earth, our souls will be redeemed by the blood of an innocent man, and we shall be free.

Red Bull

I have just seen a car outside my window, decorated entirely in "Red Bull" emblems and with a huge beer can on the top. Why?

Thoughts

Today I thought and thought and thought
Should I tell you, should I not?
If I did, what would you say?
What would happen, and in what way?
How would you take this very strange news?
What will I do, which should I choose?
I think that I may, will, or should?
What would happen if I could?
If I dared and if I told?
What would happen were I bold?
Or maybe it will all fade past
A small problem not made to last
Today I thought and thought and thought and thought
Should I tell you, should I not?

Electric Shock 2

This time the shock is mine.
I did something that I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to do.
It scared the heck out of me, let me tell you.
At least I stopped.
I didn't go all the way.
I didn't do anything terrible and unforgivable.
Almost...
Almost...
I was so scared

Lists

1. I love lists
2. They probably don't love me quite as much
3. I make lists all the time
4. They are convenient and painless
5. They organize thoughts and make things clear
6. Lists lists lists
7. My character in my book says that she loves lists twice
8. Lists
9. Are
   
10. My
11. Best
12. Friends

Profound Thoughts

A quorum of holidays:

Thursday: Thanksgiving
Friday: The traditional women's Christmas tea (at Thanksgiving time)
Saturday: Blissful relaxation
Sunday: Birthday party (mine, for once!)

On none of these days did I blog, and therefore I have forgotten my profound thoughts by now. I can only remember that they were really good. Really good and profound.
I watched Elizabethtown. I almost cried. Not quite, however. I have only cried for a movie... mmm... twice? I can't quite remember. I only remember that I didn't cry for the end of the The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, but everyone else around me, strangely, did. Save for Julien, of course. The lad would never dream of crying for a mere movie.
Perhaps I should try to use this blog to build you a picture of what my life is like.
My life is like a novel. I am the main character. Minor characters include:
Stolid mother
Sensitive father
Annoying brother
Small, pity-inducing brother
Loud, opinionated smaller sister
Best friend
Love interest
World-wise and sharp-tongued uncle
Two other friends, with whom I am generally jocular
Corresponding family, including mother's best friend, brothers' best friends, and "adorable" love interest for younger sister

My plot so far has been interesting, making it through the preteen years, and trying not to grow up (much to the peevement of Julien ["Why wouldn't you want to grow up?"]. I'll leave you to guess if he's the love interest or one of the friends. I know which one my mother would pick). I'm hoping that the climax will come soon, as the small dramas have really not turned out to be of much interest. Suffice it to say, if my life was a book, I wouldn't read it. And I wouldn't blame you for not reading it either.

Wishes

I wish.

How many times have you thought those words?

How many times have your wishes come true?

Didn't it feel great?

Some of my wishes:

To fly
To get maple instead of ginger granola for breakfast one day
To stay this age forever
To be able to keep secrets
To be able to tell some secrets
To be able to write a novel
To live to the fullest extent
To love to the fullest extent
To laugh at myself and mean it
To stay homeschooled for the rest of my life
To get large bookshelves for my newly painted room
To love God passionately and know him intimately

Some of my wishes that have been granted:

To be honest and raw and open with a) Sarah Bee b) My grandmother c) Julien
To talk to God without anything in between
To sing to the glory of God
To get contacts
To get ginger instead of banana granola for breakfast one day
To write a novel (but not by myself!)
To tell the biggest secret on my mind to the only person who would understand it
To have alive characters in my story (some are too alive - Cremorna!)

What are your wishes? Make a comment and post them to me.

Which have been granted? Tell me about them.

This blog doesn't only have to be about me.

Blessings

For Him:

Dear Julien
Known you forever sometimes
Though it’s only been a short while
Finally we can talk
We used to be scared of each other
But at last I can tell you what I think and
Not be frightened of what you’ll say
I can be philosophical
And odd
And rather mad
And you don’t mind
I know that you’ll always have a different opinion than mine
Poking me with questions
Looking at the world a different way
Every day
Your father thinks he knows us
Your mother thinks that also
My parents agree and laugh
But you and I are different than that
We don’t know everything,
But we talking about it makes it seem as though we do
And that’s all right
I call Blessing upon you
May God bless you
May He teach you marvelous wonders
May He rein you in
And let you grow
May He guard and protect you
May He talk to you quietly when you are listening
May He yell at you when you are not
May you come to know Him better
Praise Him all the days of your life
And may you never forget us
Who were your friends in childhood
And who love you better than all others

For Her:

Dear Sarah
Quiet but joyful
Searching and waiting
Holding back and running
Undecided
Learning
She knows my heart
I know hers
We are like blood sisters
Born under the same stars
Knowing the same truths
Breathing the same air
And different
How different!
I call Blessing upon you
May God bless you
May you find what you seek
May you find truth
And realize the joy in everything
May passion come into you
May you scream with joy
May you raise up your voice in jubilation and know the glory of God
May He talk to you
May you listen
May you hear Him in your heart
And sing with joy for the passion of knowing Him
Better than all others
And forsake all that you hold dear
To follow Him

For Him:

Dear Noah
Stable, right
You are always there, the same
Fun to talk with
With witty humor
And a smile over IM :)
Thank you for being here
For talking with me
For gently correcting me
For being a boy
But one that is my friend
Does not insult me
Does not patronize
Is always kind and helpful
Who does not demand that I am in love with him
Or try to find if I am
Or believe that I could be
You know I am not
And I don't have to ask
You know what I think and am happy with it
Thank you
For being a boy that I love
But don't have to
I call Blessing upon you
May God bless you
May your life be happy
Your endeavors fruitful
May your smile never wane
May your table never lack for food
May your children love you
May your wife respect and love you
May you love and respect her
May you never lose your imagination
May your RPG characters succeed
Amen.

Electric Shock

I didn't know it was like that for you.
I didn't know you felt that way.
I didn't know that you are you.
Every single blessed day.
I thought I understood but I
Seem suddenly far away
Because I didn't know that you
Are you every single day
How could I have done this to you?
How could I have been blind?
To watch my truths drift all away
Watch lies grow in my mind.
I thought it didn't matter much
That I could ignore it all
But then I came back down to earth
Opened my eyes and heard the call
I hope I didn't wound you
I know that you won't think I did
I hope I didn't hurt you
I know that you don't know I did
I'm sorry I didn't see it
I'm sorry for the things I didn't do
But I didn't know that every day
You are only you

Thursday again

There is so much to get done...
Two history quizzes (which will act as efficient poision)
One science unit assessment (how DO you find the volume of a marble? Why? Why is the marble important to society? Why is this torture necessary?)
The editing of novels (well, to be honest, only one. But it's still hard!)
Math, science, literature, English... (can you tell that I'm still in school?)
And today I only have a half day! I will be babysitting for a four-month child for the entire afternoon, and tomorrow I will be attending the RenFaire surrounded by male persons.
My life is a disaster.
But I have...
Food
Parents (who love each other and me)
A home
A dog
Brothers and sisters (maybe I should put that in the cons column)
A God who loves me
A God whom I love
The entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy on DVD!!!!!!!
New earrings
Jeans that fit (sort of)
A beautiful autumn tree visible from my window
Italy to lok forward to
Thank you, God.

When Tuesday was Monday...

It's happened again. I knew it would, of course. It always does. I just wish it wouldn't.
But if I want to keep you interested, I should tell you something about me that would keep you interested... Nope, can't think of anything.
On other topics, I am quite bemused this week. I am trying to go shopping, go to the RenFaire with my friends (as opposed to going surrounded by scads of testosterone, which may, in fact, kill me) plan a surpise birthday party for a member of my family and all that other rot... and they say homeschoolers have no social life!
I got an email from Julien today. It said nothing, only had attached to it a very confusing file. I examined it for a long time before realizing that it was a file that I had sent using his email about a week before! Why do you think it took so long?
Speaking of email, Sarah Bee and I are now officially editing our finished novel. I must confess, I am rather excited. I mean, I'm not even fourteen yet and I'm the coauthor of a novel. A long novel too. What are the chances? I mean, I've written stories before, but a whole book?
Have you ever noticed that whenever you are thanking God for something, he takes it away? I mean, I was taking out my earrings and dropped one into the sink. I managed to catch it, and thought how fortunate I was not to have lost one of my earrings before then. I said a quick thank you prayer to God and promptly dropped my earring down the drain. WHY?
History awaits...

Ride the Waves

Up and down...
That's life I suppose.
One moment soaring through the internet.
The next sobbing in my room.
Ride the waves.
Up and down...
One moment, we've finished our novel. We scream and cheer and squeal and jump and laugh and remember all the silly mistakes we've made and make plans for the sequel.
The next we're sobbing at the death of a character.
Ride the waves.
Up and down...
One moment, I'm driving a cherry picker, high in the air, with no one but myself and the sky.
The next I'm trapped in the slogging slump of schoolwork.
Ride the waves.
Up and down...

Church on Sunday morning

A girl in red cowboy boots and a denim dress rushes past, absorbed in her destination. Old friends chatter and laugh. It is a chance to look one's best, to wear your new earrings and have someone notice. Soaring above the monotone natter of the crowd, the choir practices their peice. People laugh, whisper, are introduced. Handbags swing, necklaces flash. It's just like all other Sundays.
But behind the faces, what makes this Sunday unlike any other morning? Why is this Sunday different?
These people come with different thoughts, unique needs. Who will they tell? I see no tears, no desperate faces. Where will they find aid if not in the arms of the church? Beautiful arches loom above. Carved wood glints, railings gleam. All the beauty of ages shines within the ancient traditions of the church, lovely in its grandeur and solitude. but where will the needy go? What place is there for the searching? In what hidden realms will they find solace?
Rise up, oh church!
Spread wings strengthened with your faith in victory!
Under grace we triumphed and shall be redeemed!
Those with a mission, those who care
Wake the church up with your prayer
Sweep aside the smiles there
Feel your hearts begin to tear
Wake up church, if you so dare!

Past the point of no return

Up in a cherry picker, picking not cherries but leaves to deliver to my uncle, who insisted on a leaf as proof that we could overcome our vertigo.
Past the point of fear of heights.
Eating enchiladas, realizing too late that Rachel has not been fed and listening to her wordless shriek until our eardrums pop from our heads.
Past the point of healthy ears.
Making popcorn, eating homemade pomegranate ice cream, dipping ginger cookies into your tea and squealing when Yardley bowls a man's head off.
Past the point of turning off the movie.
Staying up 'til all hours, and still being slightly tolerant of the other person's face.
Past the point of not best friends.
Going to each other's houses, wearing each other's clothing, answering each other's questions in Sunday School, listening to Phantom of the Opera, singing to each other...
Past the point of no return.

Uncertainty

There are only a few things we can be sure of in life:
Death
Taxes
Computer crashes
God
Whining
Mosquitos
Bad movies
Faith
Bad internet connection
Heartbreak
Neverland
Large corporations
Tears
Coffee
Trees
Angels
Demons
Dungeons and Dragons
Mice
Children
Deadlines

Tribute to Kat

I wrote this poem for her long ago, but it came back to me as I saw her tonight.

Little kitten
Head like a chick
Soft peach fuzz
Tiny, heavy body
Ears are round
Tiny moons
Eyes like the sea
Tiny stars
You are a poem baby
How soft you are
Downy pillow of a baby
Like springtime coming in summer
Your breath is a tiny breeze
Your hands are flowers
You wriggle like a worm in your sleep
Tiny red mouth
Stretching, yawning, like a Kat
Little kitten

Life Lesson at McDonald's

Can I find some meaning even here in a McDonald's? Miniature dramas play out at each table, two small children touch hands between tables, reaching over barriers of color, age and fear of the unknown. Someone makes room for a stranger in an aisle. Eyes meet from across the room, oldie-goldie music plays from the speakers. A woman explains to a man sitting across from her that the fact that they are eating here proves that they are still young - old people don't eat at McDonald's. The woman is white, the man is black.
An 18-month-old child is already eating the foods that may render her obese in her twenties. A young mother slaps her two-year-old for crying. A man curses, then catches himself, then curses again. A young man philisophically ponders what to get from the menu, perhaps his most important decision today.
A boy tells his mother about school Cell phones beedle, children yelp. This is life. This is meaning. There is meaning everywhere, all around me.
Even in McDonald's.