There are painful things happening.
God have mercy.
God give us wisdom and strength and comfort. We are most certainly under attack; there has never been a time when the guns are so trained on us as they are now. I can feel it in the very air, a darkness, a cloud that is waiting on the outskirts. Then it rolls quickly over the sun, and we are struck.
There is a multitude crushing down upon us, we all feel it. As we meet on Sundays, we pray that it will lift, we hold each other up, we know what it is to be in a battle. There is no faint nor inapplicable battle, there is no battle that will come, nor a battle that will pass us by. There is a battle now, that we live in, and that we must be prepared for. We must put on "the armor of light" (Romans 13:12).
As noticed by a new member of our group, the only part of us not protected by the holy armor is our back. Therefore, we are not meant to run, but to stand, face the trial and fight. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7.
God give us the strength to pass through this with marks, but marks of our battle, not of despair. "Less like scars, more like character".
And let our battle cry ring out so that Satan will see that we are not afraid of him.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Mar 13, 2007
Mar 7, 2007
Brilliant, Holmes!
I just had two perfectly peachy ideas!
One: I could write a curriculum for the Sunday school! Not that it will interest, but nothing ever does.
Two: I had a bloody brilliant idea! I want to be a columnist at some point, and then I had the idea of: why shouldn't I? Therefore, I am starting an online newspaper, with twice-weekly columns from my life, news items, and hopefully! portions from contributing writers and reporters! Here's the deal: Anyone who wants to participate should email me at quillsinc@gmail.com, and I'll review your piece for the paper!
[A chuckle of glee]
Also, please pass the word around to everybody you know... and this means you, Sarah Bee, I know you're reading this!
One: I could write a curriculum for the Sunday school! Not that it will interest, but nothing ever does.
Two: I had a bloody brilliant idea! I want to be a columnist at some point, and then I had the idea of: why shouldn't I? Therefore, I am starting an online newspaper, with twice-weekly columns from my life, news items, and hopefully! portions from contributing writers and reporters! Here's the deal: Anyone who wants to participate should email me at quillsinc@gmail.com, and I'll review your piece for the paper!
[A chuckle of glee]
Also, please pass the word around to everybody you know... and this means you, Sarah Bee, I know you're reading this!
Hello again
I feel like such an ass for not writing for so long. Of course, what am I to do? There is just so much else to be done.
1. I've been going on an aggressive forward movement to broaden my tastes and horizons. I've been learning about punk rock, and classic rock like the Rolling Stones and all those ancients.
2. I've had about two billion babysitting jobs, and two new clients.
3. School has been like a lawnmower on my head
4. I've got a secret... and I'm going to put it somewhere where no one will ever find it.... mwahahahaha! ( P.S. It's not of a romantic nature, because that would be REALLY gross... I mean, in the mushy sense of gross. I don't DO romantic)
5. Oh wait, there is no five.
1. I've been going on an aggressive forward movement to broaden my tastes and horizons. I've been learning about punk rock, and classic rock like the Rolling Stones and all those ancients.
2. I've had about two billion babysitting jobs, and two new clients.
3. School has been like a lawnmower on my head
4. I've got a secret... and I'm going to put it somewhere where no one will ever find it.... mwahahahaha! ( P.S. It's not of a romantic nature, because that would be REALLY gross... I mean, in the mushy sense of gross. I don't DO romantic)
5. Oh wait, there is no five.
Feb 17, 2007
Poem in a Book
I just read a really good book and thought of this quick, unrhyming poem:
In shallowness, hints of something deeper
In sweetness, hints of something richer
In prettiness, hints of something beautiful
In whispers, hints of something truer
In pleasure, hints of joy
In a bud, hints of the passion of the rose
In shallowness, hints of something deeper
In sweetness, hints of something richer
In prettiness, hints of something beautiful
In whispers, hints of something truer
In pleasure, hints of joy
In a bud, hints of the passion of the rose
A rather lengthy study of boys
Most of yesterday, and most of today, in fact, for a very long time, I was surrounded by boys. They were boys of different shapes, sizes, colors and dispositions, but one fact remained in the equation: they were ALL boys! Every single one of them. And they all hate me. Now, they can't really help it, I suppose, and they put up with me a good deal. But it is rather hard for me to be surrounded by people who are so sure that you will never understand them that they never tell you anything, or who think they know exactly what you're thinking or you're like when they simply don't. Girls and boys can be easily, oh, so easily, categorized and made generic. We have many of the same tendencies as others of our gender. But we are also extremely different, and though we know that, it's often difficult to apply it.
I'm afraid I've made rather a study of the boys in my life. I want to know how their minds work, how they process things, and what they are processing (and sometimes when I've found out, I think that I would rather not have known!) I try very hard not to be generic or categorized, so that they will be able to have a sense that girls can be as wide and varied as boys. As this has not worked so far, I must assume that we are not wide and varied... so then, where are we? The thought processes are sometimes frustrating.
And from my personal experience? Well, I've found out many things about boys that I don't think I would ever have known... but now, I don't think how I could ever have lived without some of the knowledge that I now possess. In a mysterious sort of way, I see what I must have known all along: that understanding boys and girls is a journey which never ends. That, in its own way, is disappointing, for it means that one will always be doing or saying the wrong thing, for you will never truly understand the opposite gender.
And don't even get me started on feelings! This is true for most boys: showing feelings is a sign of weakness - I don't say it to be derogatory, or to suggest that they should start taking Tai Chi or anything, but simply because it is true. But there is nothing which boys shudder from so vigorously as weakness, and there is nothing that they despair of so much as the pursuit of vulnerability - which, in essence, is the key to healthy relationships. What are you left with? A race of creatures who would prefer not so much to be in relationship with one another, but to interact in such a way as to be able to leave the relationship, or interaction, perfectly unscathed. This is an instinct which is within all of us, but men have developed and have a stronger feeling of it than women.
Weakness - ah! That is a thing, which, alone, will make a boy shudder and draw the curtains. No one must have weakness, and if one has it, one must not show it. Weakness, vulnerability, will leave them literally open to attack. Boys are very war-minded! It is them against the world! Do you remember all the theories about world peace and one unified society? Let me tell you now that it was no male mind who conjured up these images. Men our the warriors of our race, the trailblazers of our people. They will stride forward not because it makes sense or because they will get something out of it, but because they need to prove their worth. Win respect.
Respect is another thing that you should never get me started on. The key word to understanding both men and boys is RESPECT. If they have that, then you have something. Do not love them, do not cherish them, but give them their respect. Do not agree with them, do not coddle them, but give them their respect! Again, I do not say this because it is a bad thing, but simply because it is true.
So where are we left? At a crossroads. We (I mean, of course, I) wish to respect the boys and be respected by them. How must I do this? By not making a fool of myself. Ever. And how does one make a fool of oneself? Display weakness. And, if I may be so daring as to ask, how does one display weakness?
Feelings.
Ah, now we have hit it! This is, indeed, the rub! In my mind, I will not have a relationship with someone until I and he or she have displayed some measure of vulnerability. Only then can we even BEGIN to know a person. However, BECAUSE BOYS DO NOT HAVE THE INTEGRAL NEED FOR MULTIPLE "MEANINGFUL" RELATIONSHIPS THAT WOMEN DO, THEY WILL NOT RISK THEIR RESPECT BY BEING VULNERABLE.
And every girl who has ever gotten frustrated trying to "get through" to a boy will know just what I am talking about.
So, class have we learned something today?
I dunno. I get the feeling that we are right back where we started, with one more layer to protect us from displaying vulnerability.
I'm afraid I've made rather a study of the boys in my life. I want to know how their minds work, how they process things, and what they are processing (and sometimes when I've found out, I think that I would rather not have known!) I try very hard not to be generic or categorized, so that they will be able to have a sense that girls can be as wide and varied as boys. As this has not worked so far, I must assume that we are not wide and varied... so then, where are we? The thought processes are sometimes frustrating.
And from my personal experience? Well, I've found out many things about boys that I don't think I would ever have known... but now, I don't think how I could ever have lived without some of the knowledge that I now possess. In a mysterious sort of way, I see what I must have known all along: that understanding boys and girls is a journey which never ends. That, in its own way, is disappointing, for it means that one will always be doing or saying the wrong thing, for you will never truly understand the opposite gender.
And don't even get me started on feelings! This is true for most boys: showing feelings is a sign of weakness - I don't say it to be derogatory, or to suggest that they should start taking Tai Chi or anything, but simply because it is true. But there is nothing which boys shudder from so vigorously as weakness, and there is nothing that they despair of so much as the pursuit of vulnerability - which, in essence, is the key to healthy relationships. What are you left with? A race of creatures who would prefer not so much to be in relationship with one another, but to interact in such a way as to be able to leave the relationship, or interaction, perfectly unscathed. This is an instinct which is within all of us, but men have developed and have a stronger feeling of it than women.
Weakness - ah! That is a thing, which, alone, will make a boy shudder and draw the curtains. No one must have weakness, and if one has it, one must not show it. Weakness, vulnerability, will leave them literally open to attack. Boys are very war-minded! It is them against the world! Do you remember all the theories about world peace and one unified society? Let me tell you now that it was no male mind who conjured up these images. Men our the warriors of our race, the trailblazers of our people. They will stride forward not because it makes sense or because they will get something out of it, but because they need to prove their worth. Win respect.
Respect is another thing that you should never get me started on. The key word to understanding both men and boys is RESPECT. If they have that, then you have something. Do not love them, do not cherish them, but give them their respect. Do not agree with them, do not coddle them, but give them their respect! Again, I do not say this because it is a bad thing, but simply because it is true.
So where are we left? At a crossroads. We (I mean, of course, I) wish to respect the boys and be respected by them. How must I do this? By not making a fool of myself. Ever. And how does one make a fool of oneself? Display weakness. And, if I may be so daring as to ask, how does one display weakness?
Feelings.
Ah, now we have hit it! This is, indeed, the rub! In my mind, I will not have a relationship with someone until I and he or she have displayed some measure of vulnerability. Only then can we even BEGIN to know a person. However, BECAUSE BOYS DO NOT HAVE THE INTEGRAL NEED FOR MULTIPLE "MEANINGFUL" RELATIONSHIPS THAT WOMEN DO, THEY WILL NOT RISK THEIR RESPECT BY BEING VULNERABLE.
And every girl who has ever gotten frustrated trying to "get through" to a boy will know just what I am talking about.
So, class have we learned something today?
I dunno. I get the feeling that we are right back where we started, with one more layer to protect us from displaying vulnerability.
Feb 14, 2007
Kiss
HE'S DONE IT! SHANA KISSED RAPIER! IT'S ALL OVER!
Oh, I'm so excited. He kisses her right there, in a dark corner... And what she says to him afterwards is so priceless that I just want to shake my own hand.
Oh, I'm so excited. He kisses her right there, in a dark corner... And what she says to him afterwards is so priceless that I just want to shake my own hand.
Update
Gangsta:
Oh, the plot gets even more devious! It's all so exciting! And though it now has a new title, I will always know it by the name Gangsta! On another note, it is still snowing! The plan was to go to a history thing at the Atwater Kent museum (oh torture in its purest form, as Pastrami would say) but fortunately, the excursion was canceled due to the snow (thank you, North Wind). At this point, I am berating myself for procrastinating. I guess I should stop, and get ON.
Oh, the plot gets even more devious! It's all so exciting! And though it now has a new title, I will always know it by the name Gangsta! On another note, it is still snowing! The plan was to go to a history thing at the Atwater Kent museum (oh torture in its purest form, as Pastrami would say) but fortunately, the excursion was canceled due to the snow (thank you, North Wind). At this point, I am berating myself for procrastinating. I guess I should stop, and get ON.
Feb 3, 2007
Weekend
Ahem:
I've
Watched two movies, The Devil Wears Prada, and Legally Blonde
Spent an evening chattering to a friend
Burned the tips of every single one of my fingers so that even now, the typing burns....
Eaten far too much ice cream
Eaten not enough popcorn because the microwave STOPPED WORKING!
Hoped and prayed that tomorrow, Superbowl Sunday, will turn out all right.
I am at babysitting, and the child is asleep, and I now go to watch a horror movie.
I've
Watched two movies, The Devil Wears Prada, and Legally Blonde
Spent an evening chattering to a friend
Burned the tips of every single one of my fingers so that even now, the typing burns....
Eaten far too much ice cream
Eaten not enough popcorn because the microwave STOPPED WORKING!
Hoped and prayed that tomorrow, Superbowl Sunday, will turn out all right.
I am at babysitting, and the child is asleep, and I now go to watch a horror movie.
Jan 23, 2007
Colds
If you would like to know how I feel today, please read this page:
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/common-cold/
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/common-cold/
Jan 22, 2007
School
I'm at school again. It seems old, though it is the second time that I've been to school in my life. Mayhap it is the school, mayhap it is me. I know one thing, however.
I will never have a change in my life as big as going to school.
Jan 17, 2007
Writing
How much more wonderful is writing
The words sprout on the page
When you do it in a passion
Perhaps even in a rage
How much more magical is writing
When your plot comes unbidden
You see the story that will be
The horse never been ridden
How much more lovely is writing
When in an ecstasy of joy
You write with all the purpleness
And frills you can employ
How much more fulfilling is writing
When done in careful love
When everything poured on the page
Can give your mind a shove
And MAKE it to imagine
All the things that you describe
And MAKE it to believe
All the words that you now scribe
The words sprout on the page
When you do it in a passion
Perhaps even in a rage
How much more magical is writing
When your plot comes unbidden
You see the story that will be
The horse never been ridden
How much more lovely is writing
When in an ecstasy of joy
You write with all the purpleness
And frills you can employ
How much more fulfilling is writing
When done in careful love
When everything poured on the page
Can give your mind a shove
And MAKE it to imagine
All the things that you describe
And MAKE it to believe
All the words that you now scribe
Jan 16, 2007
Running hard
Just when you're running so hard that you don't know if you can ever stop...
Just when you can't take anything more... anything worse...
Just when you're breaking from the hardness of life...
Just when you can't keep going...
God sends you tomorrow.
And you find you can.
Just when you can't take anything more... anything worse...
Just when you're breaking from the hardness of life...
Just when you can't keep going...
God sends you tomorrow.
And you find you can.
Jan 10, 2007
Jan 9, 2007
Thought
Oh silence like that moment on a cloud
Before we step off in a reverie
Oh poignance when you've finished and you've bowed
And you wonder, "Are the whole world's eyes on me?"
Oh beauty like that moment in a trance
Of passing, gloating splendor glowing bright
Oh waiting in that moment when by chance
Some passing miscreant turns out the light
Oh blooming in that moment of ideas
When all the world bursts forth a holy sooth
Oh tender splitting and peeling away fears
When first a soul can see the wholest truth
Oh moments like this great and small and slow
Are what makes this earth a home before we go
Before we step off in a reverie
Oh poignance when you've finished and you've bowed
And you wonder, "Are the whole world's eyes on me?"
Oh beauty like that moment in a trance
Of passing, gloating splendor glowing bright
Oh waiting in that moment when by chance
Some passing miscreant turns out the light
Oh blooming in that moment of ideas
When all the world bursts forth a holy sooth
Oh tender splitting and peeling away fears
When first a soul can see the wholest truth
Oh moments like this great and small and slow
Are what makes this earth a home before we go
Jan 8, 2007
Writing
When you put words onto paper, the most you can hope to convey is a shadow of the passion in your mind. The words that promised to give the meaning you have experienced or are searching for reveal themselves to be idle shams. Yet in this shadow, we can see the reflection of passion, the passing silhouette of a grand splendor. By using words to create a crude wooden frame, the imagination can emboss and finish until the doorway into another world is firmly made and we may step through it. To create this frame, this support structure for the imagination, may be one of the highest goals of mankind.
This is why we are writers.
This is why we are writers.
Jan 5, 2007
My First Day of Work... so far
Well, here I am, taking my lunch break, just like any other Joe at the workplace. Did filing all morning, took a coffee break, had coffee at my coffee break, and kept breaking the copy machine - all the wonderful workplace experiences in one convenient morning. I also did my school at my lunch break, so I shall have to scarf down my turkey wrap and clemantine. Well, must go and file some more - farewell for now, or, as they say in the workplace:
See ya tomorrow, Ted.
Jan 3, 2007
Christmas Stockings...
Guess what I got in my stocking this year? A travel mug. This, I suppose, was a subtle hint from Mom that I am to stop stealing hers. But it came blank and silver! So, of course, what I did next was perfectly natural - no one can blame me! I took a permanent marker and wrote, "Cremorna, Cremorna, Cremorna shall kill you in the end!" All over it. No one will mistake my mug for anyone else's!
Jan 2, 2007
Happy New Year! [Sound of cheap plastic horn being blown]
Well, it is 2007! What are your resolutions? Forgot to make 'em? That's terrible. Well, that's ok - I nearly did meself. But I remembered in time! Here they are, in their lovely entirety:
1) Hire Pascal to give me photography lessons
2) Get a move on with my voice lessons
3) Get a job at the office. I'm FOURTEEN now, you see.
4) Think seriously about taking drumming lessons
5) Think seriously about taking jazz dancing or breakdancing lessons (I know, sounds ludicrous, but I have always loved breakdancing. My grandmother concurs)
6) Save money for two main goals: A laptop and a camera
And that's it. Woo hoo.
1) Hire Pascal to give me photography lessons
2) Get a move on with my voice lessons
3) Get a job at the office. I'm FOURTEEN now, you see.
4) Think seriously about taking drumming lessons
5) Think seriously about taking jazz dancing or breakdancing lessons (I know, sounds ludicrous, but I have always loved breakdancing. My grandmother concurs)
6) Save money for two main goals: A laptop and a camera
And that's it. Woo hoo.
Dec 24, 2006
Christmastime Is Here...
But so much for happiness and cheer. I had barely squeezed out the thought, "Ah, it's the day before Christmas eve and I'm baking cookies with Jenny, how picturesque," when I remembered.
"I have two history essays and a science unit assessment left to do!" I shrieked. Glancing at the clock, which read ten thirty at night, Jenny said,
"Seems to me as though you should go do them." And do them I did, though it took me until one o' clock in the morning. Bugger the economic effects of religious and military conflict on Europe in the late Middle Ages!
But here it is, Christmas Eve, and I've just had a brilliant, though not entirely original idea for a story. 'T will do no good to ask on what it is; I shall not tell, because it is my biz. Or whatever rhymes with is.
Merry Christmas.
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